Jip 07B Jones Av

On my way home from skol

Oooopss. Student again!

The Empty Chair

The melancholy
Of an empty chair
In a corner of my
Thoughts
Strikes each dawn
When i lay still
Staring from the
Dark into
Nothingness.
How cold can
The world get
While lights outside
Dance and music
Play in rhythm
With life.
Just how many
Souls at this instant
Wither
In loneliness
In a dark room
Just staring
at an empty
Chair
They can't even dare sit?
The chair in my thoughts
I will keep empty
If only to console a heart
That it's not alone
In its solitude.

Fear

What do i see
When i stare at
Darkness?
Should i be seeing anything
At all?
i am making out
All these troubles rushing
Chasing me
Like an avalanche
From a summit
I could not see.
Im playing with shifting
Shadows pulling me
Yelling and cursing
And some conniving
And whispering
Pockets of prayer for
Someone else's bad luck.
I stare back at them
And beyond the nothingness
I am seeing a blankness
That magnifies
Fear.
An illusion in august
that uncertainty
Creates
In the darkest nights
In 28 years.

ALIGUAY ISLAND

I had the chance to go back home a few months back after an unfortunate turn of events which turned out pretty well in the end. I got sick for over fatigue with all the book-juggling and work on the side which made me ski classes and work for 3 weeks including the full week I was a recluse due to sore eyes. I had no salary as i have used up all my vacation and sick leave credits but i was able to go back home and enjoy a few days with friends...

Fast rewind - i went home to visit Aliguay island. It's been ages since the last time. I really hope i can go back there. It's being developed right now and I'm quite sure going there to bask under the sun won't be free soon. Looking at these photos, I just wanna be there this instant.

McDonald's

Sucks if u have a few houra and over 300pages to read.

Waiting

WAITING

in bed
the lights turned low,
i gaze at the ceiling
and in the cracks
i see moons shining
and stars dancing
from universes away.
i count the minutes
in the length of each
tiny light's twinkling
as they're consumed
by nothingness
only to peep out before
i could gasp another breath.
i entertain myself with
the galleons of clouds
passing by
until they all sail away
into the window,
into the light.
the door creaks open
and my waiting ends.

Sidewalk Thoughts

SIDEWALK THOUGHTS

i sit on a sidewalk
my life in stationary
while thoughts run
round and round
in a race
i could only wish the road
will run out.
i could finally hear
silence.
the littlest gust of wind
creates a sound as i
let out a breath of smoke.
18 cars past,
i wished they had dragged
these thoughts to where
i do not know of
until they all dissipate
until i couldn't care less
until all i could remember
was counting cars and
a vague memory
etched on paper
that i painfully erased.

The Hurt

THE HURT

Sometimes
The heart aches a little
The body feels old
The mind convinces both
That the day is too lovely to detest.
The thirst, i try to drown in
Glasses of beer and ice
'drink me, im your troubles' panacea'
The hunger, in the abyss of my thoughts,
I suppress with crispy chicken thigh
'eat me i'll let your mind fly'
My body parts going
In different directions,
my muscles moan
My bones hurt
My head diffusing and expanding
and back again
always in the verge of exploding.
The thoughts,
the endless worries I cannot suppress
all collapse into air
Only to return bigger and scarier.
I laugh at myself and
all i could hear is a cough.
Or a whimper.
I am not a happy soul these days
My body tells me so -
Cos the laundry is waiting
The credit card's screaming
The office is fogged of rumors and withering smiles
My dog's always pooping
My polaris not in synch
with my compass.
And i miss my family badly
And my heart's pining for home.
The heart aches sometimes too.
I will give it to my heart.
To ache to wallow to hate
Even for a moment.

Issues

ISSUES

We whine about work
We yammer about bosses
We squeak about
how the complexities
Of the roles we assume inside
This two-doored, four-walled
War-cage
Make us almost vomit.
We catch gossips
Hurled in the air from all directions
Like bombs hitting us
And exploding like stinky Poop.
We chatter
Of dirty kitchens and
Wild outbursts in British accent
and sometimes
Smile at british sarcasm we
Couldn't grasp in an instant
- Like a meerkat
That goes 'kruk kruk kruk'.
We talk about love and sex
Everyday during smoke breaks
As if the stories never end like
The cigarettes we consume.
We talk of boobs and boners,
Of Newcomers and blabbers,
Of Gold-diggers and
boyfriend/girlfriend-grabbers
Like a recently watched
Soap on primetime tv.
We breathe huge heaps of air
On the fifth
And face in front of a pc
On the twelfth
Only to breathe a greater amt of air
As if air would give us the energy
To carry on.
We are balloons
Puffed and puffed
Ready to go boooom.
We complain
But we work anyway
and never give anything
less than our best.
At times, we have issues
But resolve them anyway.
We applaud ourselves for
The little things we
Feel we triumphed on
and pat each others back
when one does well.
It feels like a 5 yr old
All over again
Rewarded with a vanilla ice cream
When a rare compliment comes by.
We lift each others spirits
Because no one else raises
A glass for us but ourselves.
We have laughter for lunches
And a cold set of beer reserved
After work on days when our
Wallets have enough to spare.
We have allowed a space
In our hearts for what we do
Though hours come by
when we'd ask
If our job could ever love us back.
We learned. We matured. We loved.
And together
We inhale and exhale toxic.
We've been hurt.
We've cried. -
For not being listened to.
We've got our hearts pounded.
We've rebelled.
- For things we felt worth standing for. Then we whine again.
We are big whiners with each other.
And then we laugh again
- reminiscing the good ol days-
And get back to work
Pouring our heart n soul
- Like beleaguered soldiers
In a seemingly eternal battle
Always looking out for that
Spark that promises an end
To this long dreary night

Dawn Thoughts

DAWN THOUGHTS

Here i am again
Terribly missing home
In a city
I can only count
The hearts that understand.
Counting cars again
One two three...
Twenty four... Thirty nine..
Their numbers piling up
Like the uncertainties
Of tomorrow.
The dawn is creeping again
Swallowing this sidewalk
In its coldness
In its indifference
To a lost drifter
Trying to make sense
Out of his purpose.
The daylight is breaking again
Through the early morning clouds
Painting the sky a lonely
Shade of blue.
The kind that makes your eyes water
The kind that makes you puke
The kind that tugs the chest
So hard it makes you
Grasp for air.
The kind that makes you
Feel like you're dying..
Or dead.
Here i am again
Thinking
Wallowing in perplexities
Fighting with reasons
Digging in concrete
Trying to strike a spring
That promises this
Breaking day of unfamiliar
Silhouettes will be mine
To conquer

The Building

THE BUILDING

The office
Standing tall
Teeming of faces
I cant all recall.
Ive always thot
That skyscrapers
Are made of concrete
But this firmament that
Sticks over the skyline
Are made of walls
That are just slightly thicker
And a just a little bit wider
Than that of the faces
That occupy its spaces.
It's cappillaries start moving
And then pause.
The Elevator stops
On mid-floors - suddenly our
Imagined Corporate-movie lives
Flop and someone just yells
"Holy Crap Im trapped! "
Back to reality.
Passengers awaken.
This lift might just be
Metal coffins transporting
Live people to hell.
Funny but It hurts when
At times one has to
kneel to the devil
To make a living
and then thank God
for the job
That provides each weekend
A set of beer at a club.
Twelve floors up
Where birds outside fly
And occasionally peep
On glass windows
chirping mutely
And choking of polluted
Air rising from below.
From the outside
The birds mummed of
The events inside -
The subtle insults
And sarcasm that bite.
The smiles to a computer screen
That doesnt smile back.
The laughs to a voice
That comes out from the wires
Stemming out from
Across oceans
where birds outside
Would not attempt to try.
The cursing hurled
Are nauseating.
The bodies walking
And running in squares
and circles
Back and forth,
Its maddening.
The weight of the problems
Of a foreign country
Resting on the shoulder
of this building

Ginabot 4 Lunch

I love ginabot with its staple - the reliable puso!!! If u ever come visit cebu, don't miss it! The best ginabot in town is nearby Redemptorist Church.. I wanna go back there!!!

Chopsticks 101 @BIG MAO

I don't how to use chopsticks . I have tried. Futile.

Today I and few of my workmates - Maimai, Aisha, Joseph and Roni - went for dinner at Big Mao at the Terraces. We were gonna watch movies. People were still crammed waiting for the day's last show of Eclipse and all seats have been taken when we arrived around 9pm. We planned to buy tickets for Knight and Day but changed our minds last minute and headed to dinner anyway.

Big Mao serves great food. We ordered a whole lot of food plus bottomless iced tea. I have a hard time memorizing food names so I have forgotten what they're called after we ate. We weren't able to eat everything.







Then we had fun with the chopsticks.We had challenged ourselves at first to eat using chopsticks but when the food were served, our hands were already spoons-and-forks ready. We were too hungry we forgot the chopsticks altogether. Then we did chopsticks 101 when we were so full another spoon of pansit would have made me vomit. Maimai was so funny with the chopsticks and they were all laughing at me on my attempt to pick a slimy mushroom using the sticks. I can't believe I could use so much of my energy picking up a lil slimy mushroom!

Panget almost paid the whole bill...hahaha...Thanks nget! And then a few photos after, we headed for a smoke. Everyone knew we needed a cig.







From that dinner onwards, we planned to eat at a restaurant no matter how expensive once a month. A splurge on food once in a while isn't a bad idea, we all thought. So Big Mao is number one. Let's see what's next!!! Can't wait!

UP DHARMA DOWN @ Ayala

On my way to the office, I got the chance to see Up Dharma Down live at the Active Zone inside Ayala.

The band is forward and you don't really get to hear any other band having the same sound. It was a bit intimate having the crowd very close to the stage. Aroud 300 people watched the band perform alongside a little less known but equally talented band Sleepwalk Circus.

The bands performed some of their hits to the crowd's delight.

The event was sponsored by PUMA and was dubbed Archive Uncovered.





I enjoyed the whole forty minutes only to be distracted by college students acting like preps. Yesm you have your SLRs and you are sitting at the front. You don't have to f*ck with it the whole time the bands were singing. Someone's singing, pay attention! You're all behaving like prep schoolers!