the enya state of mind (?)

the enya state of mind (?)

it's funny how the frenzy caught me so fast after i submitted my resignation. in a sudden, things zoom past me unnoticed. time seems to fly so bloody fast i feel like im on board a jet on its way in a few seconds to a non-existent asteroid somewehere in the cosmos. in a sudden, i feel i have so little time left - to pick what clothes to bring, to choose what things to carry and to totally prepare myself to a life so completely different. Three years working at Metrobank has been a drag. Life has become a routine it felt like listening to the sappiest Enya song. In fact, the mood of my life pretty much feels like an Enya song. I'm in a state of partial numbness i'd pull out a hair off my head to snap me back to reality. Two weeks more and i will be among the millions of people in Cebu - swarming with them, struggling with them and trying to survive. Well maybe, just maybe i could find myself in Cebu amidst the chaos, the phlegmatic state, the pollution, the indifference, the freedom. I have high hopes i will. For the moment, i am yet to pack my bags. I still havent bought yet a box to put my things on. Worst of all, i still have no boarding house to go to when i arrive there. I don't wanna be homeless when i get there and damn im a bit choosy where to stay at..huhuh...****slap on the face*** aarghh.. uhm ok, i do not have the luxury to complain and whine ...and i dont have much choice. Come on, there's no turning back and i gotta make this thing work or else im the biggest loser i'd have known if i do..

well, im pretty excited i could clearly see myself doing the callcenter job..oops, but not too fast...i could very well fail in the exams during the training and get the boot...but i shall not let them do that...i'm made of hard matter...not so much like the man of steel but hard enough to carry on this stuff....

Cebu....get ready....coz here I come!!!hahaha

why i'm quitting

i was in Cebu last week to apply for a job at a call center. God knows what the hell I went through. Hahaha... But it was such a trip full of surprises i couldn't have imagined. I would love to tell you the whole story from the moment i stepped out from office to rush to the pier and catch Cokaliong in the nick of time until the day i rushed back to office after i arrived boarding the same boat from Dumaguete. .. but it will take abook. Anyway, what i thought was a trip to find another job became a unexpected vacation i never had. And it was worth it. I got accepted at Convergys and Etelecare - not bad considering I only applied at both call centers. And so i made a little decision...Not quite.

Well, i quit my job last friday. At last, the agony is over. I have long been planning to pass that piece of paper that contained "i'm bloody sick of what i have been doing for the last three years". Well, you know i'm exaggerating right? Hahaha..I'm insane, they say. Working in the number one bank of the country cant be that bad. The benefits are the best in the industry. I am called sir despite my pleading i'm not the 'sir' type. The regard people extend to me are more than the average mainly because i wear a tie at work and in Dipolog not much offices require that piece of cloth hanging like a tongue for uniform. People in the bank are aslo regarded as people who have all the ready smiles in the world to greet you "Good morning ma'am! Good morning sir? ..What the hell do you want?...".Uh, ok that was another exaggeration.Hahah... They are deemed happy because salary is great and they live nice lives - a nice home, a nice car, a nice school for their children, a nice husband and wife for a trophy. They live a nice decent life. And nowadays, having that kind of life is rare. They are the lucky people. They count millions of money and calculate millions more. They are content of the nice lives th bank provides them.

BUT NOT ME....

I'm not the type who would want to live the banker's life. I want a life. I don't mean the nice life . I just simply want a life. The bank just aint right for me. Im the outdoors type. The free-spirit type. I dont want someone holding me on the neck. I quit and I'm glad I'm free of the choking.

What do i really want? It's something i ask myself all the time. Now, i'm not sure just yet. SOmetimes i think im in a mid-life crisis or something (middle, because i predict i'd be six feet undert by the time i reach forty. I simply dont wanna become an ancient, stinking old man) For now, im in search of myself. I couldn't have found it in the bank where i am still working until my resigantion takes effect next month. I just know i belong somewhere else. Signs tell me so. I don't regret the things i do, because they are my choices. I may have things I'd rather change but looking back and tracing the steps, i know i'd be much happier where i am now than anywhere else. Maktub (it is written)...
I only know a few things about me that i know will always be my reminders,my compass as i move along life. I know what i am capable of, knowing what i know, and i bet i still have a few things to learn and discover about what more i am capable of still. I know and i am very certain of my passion. I know i want to be happy. I know God will never leave me. I know i am hard-working. I know i can handle pressure. I know I will succeed - not necessarily become rich or get the most envied job around -. I know somewhere, i will succeed in finding that place where, no matter how humble, i can be happy doing what i do.

Good luck to me, i guess. ..